What Should You be When You Want to be Everything?
But oftentimes better than the master of one
The pressure of “pick one future” kills more dreams than confusion ever did. I have always been the child who wants to do it all, the one who never wants to pick just one.
In my childhood I learnt kathak, karate, skating, drawing, singing, abacus, MMA, basketball and I had also been performing picture perfect in academics.
My mother always taunted me on how I can’t stick to one hobby, why I can’t focus at one place, how I love wasting her money, but what she never really understood was that I don’t want to do just “one thing”.
I love being the jack of all trades, to have enough knowledge about everything that I don’t have to sit quiet in any conversation. I want to know enough of everything. How can I let one thing be my identity? Why can’t I be the girl that does it all?
I have no idea if rebirth is real, but what if we don’t have more chances at living? This life is all I’ve got. I want to make the most of it, to experience everything there is. I may not be getting another chance at this. If this was not the case I swear mother, I would have left some things for another lifetime.
How do people expect us to choose a defined career when I am not ready to leave behind my sketchpad, my ghunghroos, my boxing gloves, my skates, my novels and my basketball?
How am I supposed to sit in a colorless office and forget completely about how I was meant to be on stage under a spotlight? My ghunghroos making a melody of their own, where I have already surrendered to the music with my flow-y dresses and painted pink cheeks. My hair braided in the prettiest braid that I have ever worn, wearing jewelries heavier than my head.
How am I supposed to work on a computer with some numbers when my hands ache to wear the gloves that are lying in the attic of my house?
How am I supposed to listen to my boss giving me deadlines when the only deadlines I am happy with is when my phone gives me a notification that it is Wednesday again and it time to post another blog.
The worst part is I want to take a non-conventional, a non-ideal path. I want to do all of it in this very lifetime, to be on stage AND in a boxing ring AND at my laptop to write AND with my skates AND have lots of novels AND crochet things for myself and the people I love. I want to do everything and more.
I am not ready to give up any of these things. The things that make me feel alive in a dead world. If I give up any of my hobbies, I will be giving up a part of myself.
But my parents are completely against this idea, and they are right at their place how will I earn my food if a change my profession every day. That’s why I want a free world where survival isn’t forced on money, where I pursue each of my hobbies on different days of the week, and when I am not able to earn money with that, I want to bring back barter system into our societies, to save the living, to save those who still haven’t died because of choosing to give up a part of themselves.
Society expects specialists but some people are just natural explorers.
I want to be able to buy grains of wheat with a very beautiful painting that I just painted last night because why not? Maybe then the saying would be wrong
“Everybody wants to be an artist until the rent is due”.
Because no the rent isn’t due, the landlord lets me stay at her place in exchange of teaching her daughter kathak.
I want to be an artist drowning in art, not just in one state or form. I don’t want to choose one thing to do for the rest of my life or worse I don’t want to discard something that I love from my life. I want to be able to be free because that is what a true artist is…. Free.
See you same time next week.
Comments
Post a Comment